The best and worst platforms for DTR convos, ranked

How much of a trash fire do you want YOUR
How much of a trash fire do you want YOUR “define the relationship” conversation to be?
Image: BOB AL-GREENE / MASHABLE

To send or not to send the carefully composed text? It’s a question many a love-seeking youth has asked themselves in an age in which swiping leads to texting leads to hanging out leads to banging leads to … who the heck knows? Yep, we’re talking about the dreaded “Define the Relationship” (DTR) convo, also known as the “Where is this going?” discussion.

Ideally, DTRs are open and honest face-to-face conversations between two people to discuss what they mean to each other. But that is not necessarily the norm, or even the preferred method of communication for many.

The realm of the DM is vast: There are video chat apps, disappearing messages, and animated bobble heads who will deliver messages for you. Recently, I helped a friend manage a DTR initiated over Snapchat DM! Who says your phone’s texting application has to be where your DTR exists? The person you’re DMing with right now certainly doesn’t.

Most likely, the platform where you have your DTR will be a place where you communicate with your ~person~ frequently. But before you hit send on your “where is this going?” message — or consider how to respond to a DTR message you’ve gotten — you might want to think about the drawbacks and advantages of each.

We’re here to help! Read on for pros, cons, tips, and tricks for navigating DTR convos over DM — and the best and worst platforms for those convos, ranked. 

1. Take It IRL

Just because you start a DTR convo, or receive a DTR message, over a DM platform, doesn’t mean that’s where it has to stay. Consider the DM platform as more of a DTR initiation than the entire venue. For example, if you want to DTR, but would rather bring it up over text than in person, why not send a message asking to meet up to talk about the relationship? Or, if you receive a DTR message, be an upstanding person and offer to discuss more IRL if they would prefer? This is called the hybrid method, folks!

Pros: Gives both parties time and space to think about what they want to say. Will lead to an in-person discussion, which promotes empathy, kindness, and understanding.

Cons: You might have to have an in-person conversation 😬.

2. FaceTime (or other video chat)

If you want to have a face-to-face conversation right this moment, but don’t want to wait to get together (or get the prospect of the conversation rejected, as is a risk in option 1), you can always FaceTime your lovah. Open with a casual “what’s good, how’s it going?” and then have the DTR face-to-face.

Pros: An almost-in-person interaction, the opportunity for resolution in realtime.

Cons: Glitching and lagging could lead to awkwardness. Springing a DTR over video chat could be surprising or off-putting.

3. Texting

Whether you’re a blue bubble or a green bubble, you can’t go wrong with a classic.

Pros: More personal and formal than a social media app. Texting as opposed to messaging shows a bit of respect!

Cons: Potential for misunderstandings and misreadings, callousness, obsession over language (going back and re-reading conversations endlessly). The conversation could drag on over hours or days, depending on how long responses take. Then there’s the hornets nest of Read receipts — some people have them, some don’t. Seeing that a message has been read but not responded to can be excruciating.

4. WhatsApp/Facebook Messenger

As text-based DM-ing platforms, these are relatively similar — and not too different from plain old texting.

Pros: Encryption, y’all! Plus, this is a social app, but its main purpose is texting — private communication is the main event, not the side show.

Cons: Lots of people, especially internationally, use WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger as their main forms of communication. But these still seem a bit informal, which could be disrespectful to your interlocutor.

You never have to DTR with your cat. You know she hates you.

You never have to DTR with your cat. You know she hates you.

5. Snapchat DM

Want to keep things ~super chill~? You’ve found your platform!

Pros: disappearing messages mean you can’t endlessly obsess over the convo (unless you choose to save them, which means you’re actively choosing obsession). Read receipts for both parties keep people accountable to answer in a timely fashion.

Cons: Good lord, where do we start? Disappearing messages mean you might miss or misunderstand something. Read receipts are stressful as hell. It’s Snapchat, an ephemeral messaging app … that does not speak well for the longevity and commitment of your relationship!

6. Instagram DM

The platform of thirst traps, superficiality, and stuntin’. Who wouldn’t want to DTR here?

Pros: You probably talk to your bae on here a lot. Why not carry on, alongside reminders of how good you look?

Cons: Instagram chat is for sending memes and booty calls. Not a very auspicious beginning for a relationship.

7. Co – Star DM

This astrology app could be the perfect place to either bring to life or kill your relationship.

Pros: Let the movements of the planets be your guide.

Cons: You have to ask your S.O. for their birth time.

8. Instagram post

Usually, the Instagram Official photo post comes after the DTR. But why not switch it and reverse it? Simply announce your relationship to the public before your newly minted significant other agrees to it. And, voila! You’re Instagram Official!

Pros: No messy conversation necessary, and you get to pick a good photo of yourself. Plus, maybe you’re with someone who’s hesitant to commit verbally, but is too lazy to end things verbally, so now you’re just in a relationship, de facto.

Cons: Listen, if a plan is gonna backfire, at least it will backfire in spectacular fashion.

9. Group text

New relationships affect more than just the couple, OK?! Your friends would probably like some clarity about where you two freaks stand, too. Why not have your DTR in a group text with your closest friends, where everyone can witness and comment upon the defining of your relationship?

Pros: Friends keep you honest, friends will have your back, friends are there for you, in good times and bad.

Cons: Honestly, it’s 2019. Maybe this is fine now.

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Which dating app is right for you in the UK? Use this guide to figure it out in 2019.

We compare the most popular dating apps and sites to help you find your soulmate.

Best for finding a spouse


Marriage-minded folks flock to eharmony because of its great success rate and its comprehensive compatibility questionnaire.

Best for people who are so over Tinder


With a seriously impressive user base and tons of ways to connect, Match offers a fun-yet-serious alternative to sites that are too intense and marriage-focused.

Online dating is officially mainstream. “We met on Tinder” is the new “we met in a bar.” 

Countless children have been born to parents who met via an online dating app like Match or eharmony. And according to eharmony, more than 50% of couples will meet online by 2031 (they would say that, but it’s not an implausible forecast given online dating’s rising popularity).

With so many options, it can be hard to know where to find the best crop of potential mates. Each of the dating apps out there have features that will matter differently to you depending on your lifestyle, what you want, and what’s most important to you. Looking for Ms. Right? Or perhaps just Mr. Right Now? It’s helpful to know how each dating app is different so that you can surround yourself with people who want the same thing as you.

Whether you’re looking for something super specific or have tried every app on the market, this handy guide breaks down what the deal is with each of these online dating experiences and who they’re best suited for. Good luck out there! 


Unique, career-oriented user base • Ultra specific filters • Low chance of being catfished

Extremely pricey • Restricted to a few matches per day • Time consuming

The Bottom Line

Calling on a more mature crowd, EliteSingles weeds out the non-professionals and gives a space for ambitious individuals to connect with genuine, like-minded individuals.

1. EliteSingles

A space for ambitious people to connect with genuine, like-minded singles who don’t have time to meet someone the old fashioned way.

  • Free version:
    Yes
  • Three months of paid:
    £48.50/month
  • Six months of paid:
    £35/month
  • One year of paid:
    £25/month
Who it’s for: Picky people looking for something super specific in a partner. And guys, this is not the place for the younger millennials: EliteSingles loves to brag that 82% of their members are university grads, and with most of its members being 33-50 years old, we can pretty surely say that the main target is mature, working professionals rather than the the Tinder-using generation. Sorry uni kids.
Why it’s awesome: Rather than being thrown into an endless pool of profiles, EliteSingles lets you pick out exactly what you’re looking for. You’ll be given a limited number of matches curated for you using 29 extremely detailed, professional-level algorithms based on the popular Five Factor Personality Test. They’ll even show you your own results in comparison to those of potential matches to see how you stack up. Like eHarmony, the stuff to fill out is pretty lengthy — but that’s what you want if you’re looking for a lasting relationship, and this helps ensure that you aren’t swiping through loads of people that aren’t your type. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Another unique thing is that there are separate pools based on location, religion, ethnicity, age, and sexual orientation. You can even break it down by profession if — for example, you are or were a teacher, you might only want to date someone who was also a teacher. All profiles are also verified manually with an upscale Fraud Detection System.
As you could have expected from the fancy-sounding name, EliteSingles is the most expensive of the bunch (but we say worth it). Sign up here and read our full review here.

Massive user base • LGBTQ friendly • Tons of features for max satisfaction • Chemistry questionnaires are actually decent

Outdated and unattractive layout • Entire site looks like a virus-ridden porn ad • Best features get pricey

The Bottom Line

If you can get past the fact that it looks like an ad for a deserted strip club, you’ll get the satisfaction you were looking for and more.

2. AdultFriendFinder

Live videos, group chats, and more monthly visitors than eharmony makes AFF great for finding a fling.

  • Free version:
    Yes
  • One month of GOLD:
    £23.25/month
  • Three months of GOLD:
    £15.50/month
  • One year of GOLD:
    £11.60/month
Who it’s for: Horny people. 
Why it’s awesome: AdultFriendFinder is our pick for the best hookup site, and that’s because it’s literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied. Regardless of whether you’re looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more. If you don’t mind that the entire thing looks like a sketchy “There are hot singles in your area” ad, you’ll be in heaven.
With over 25 million monthly users (that’s more than eharmony) as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there’s such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you’re very likely to find someone who’s on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn’t expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they’re that intent on finding you a good match.
Another bonus is that AdultFriendFinder is like the dating site version of London (AKA it never sleeps). You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. You can even check out the “How to Date” playlist on its Youtube channel for tips on how to ace the dating game. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that’s always awake when you text them. 
You can read our full review on AdultFriendFinder here and sign up here.

Largest user base of any dating site • Clean and user friendly layout • IRL group events • Low-pressure atmosphere

Sifting through so many users takes time • Pricey • Endless emails from non-matches

The Bottom Line

A just-plain-fun happy medium for those who are tired of the lack of seriousness (and abundance of gross messages) on Tinder but aren’t ready for eharmony.

3. Match

With a seriously impressive user base and tons of ways to connect, Match offers a fun-yet-serious alternative to sites that are too intense and marriage-focused.

  • Free version:
    Yes
  • Three months of paid:
    £18.50/month
  • Six months of paid:
    £16.20/month
  • One year of paid:
    £15.45/month
Who it’s for: People who trust experience over gimmicks and people who want *a lot* of options.
While many dating apps go overboard with obnoxious advertising (leading to an unfortunate desperation stigma), Match offers a sliver of hope: They guarantee that you’ll find someone in six months, and if you don’t, they’ll give you six months for free. Match has gained the trust of over 35 million unique monthly visitors, giving it the largest user base of any online dating site. Match loves to brag about their success stories on social media, providing you endless inspiration when your dating life looks grim. 
Why it’s awesome: As one of the first online dating sites launched in 1995, Match has decades of data to back up their their algorithms — so no, it’s not just another one of those sites that you’ll forget about after a month. Match even uses your swipes to get a better idea of what you like to give you better matches in the future.
And guess what? These tried and true algorithms don’t require some long, tedious questionnaire. Aside from asking about your personal values and interests, Match allows you to specify what you want (or don’t want) in a partner and how important that is: If you’d prefer someone who doesn’t smoke cigarettes but it’s not a deal breaker, Match lets you specify that, and if you choose “This is a deal breaker,” they won’t give you potential matches that had that in their answers. It’s a super simple way to make sure you two at least somewhat on the same page with surface-level things, and can avoid those awkward conversations two months into the relationship. Finding someone who has the same values as you is just as important as finding an honest person and the rest of that mushy stuff.
Sign up here.

Insane success rate • Best bet for compatible matches • Low chance of vulgar messages

Pricey • Making a profile takes forever • Messages from non-matches

The Bottom Line

Marriage-minded folks flock to eharmony because of its great success rate and its comprehensive compatibility questionnaire.

4. eHarmony

Marriage-minded folks flock to eharmony because of its great success rate and its comprehensive compatibility questionnaire.

  • Free version:
    Yes
  • Three months of paid:
    £42.50/month
  • Six months of paid:
    £28.50/month
  • One year of paid:
    £14.50/month
Who it’s for: Marriage-minded people trying to marry the next person they date. With an opening questionnaire as time-consuming and mushy as this one, we don’t expect that many people looking for a hookup would put themselves through that. Their explicit goal is to “create more meaningful connections that lead to fulfilling marriages,” so if that’s your goal as well this is the site for you. 
Why it’s awesome: The fact that it accounts for 4 percent of marriages in the US speaks for itself — that’s an insane stat to come from a single dating site and proves that people are not messing around here. You’ll only get a handful of potential matches per day and there’s no search feature, so being patient is key. You can’t rush things like this.
eHarmony uses a comprehensive questionnaire with a whopping 29 dimensions to match you with people based on your long-term compatibility. You’ll give yourself a rating on prompts like “I’m an honest partner,” with sliding scale responses. On paper, asking deep questions like these right off the bat makes total sense when pairing two people together — but they’re so basic and annoying. As much as you’d like to lie to feel better about yourself, you know deep down that’s not the way to a healthy relationship. Admitting that you’re not as mature in a certain area is key to eharmony matching you with someone who complements you. eharmony promises to pay for three months if you’re not satisfied after three months, so they’re clearly pretty confident that all of those questions work.
Warning: It does get pricey, but less so the longer your subscription is — and it’ll be worth it when you have your boo. Sign up here.

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The best dating sites to find a connection this weekend

From Match to eharmony, these dating sites are worth your time.

If you’ve dated in the past 20 years, then it’s likely that you’ve encountered a dating site. You might have even encountered a few of them. 

As our lives have increasingly moved online, digital dating has allowed us more freedom to meet others however we choose. 

With so many options, it can be really tricky knowing where to find the best crop of potential partners. Each of the dating apps out there has a selection of features that will matter differently to you depending on your lifestyle, what you want, and what’s most important to you.

Whether you’re looking for something specific or have tried every app on the market, this handy guide gives you all the details to ensure you find a date in time for the weekend. Good luck out there!

Here are our top seven dating site picks for this weekend.

This article originally appeared on Mashable.com 


Career-orientated user base • Ultra-specific filters

Extremely pricey • Restricted to a few matches per day • Time consuming

The Bottom Line

Calling on a more mature crowd, EliteSingles weeds out the non-professionals and gives a space for ambitious individuals to connect with genuine, like-minded others

1. EliteSingles

Turn to this upper-tier dating site to find a successful match (in both senses of the word).

  • Three months:
    £49.95/month
  • Six months:
    £34.95/month
  • One year:
    £24.95/month
Who it’s for: Picky people looking for something super specific in a partner. And guys, this is not the place for younger millennials: EliteSingles loves to brag that 82% of their members are university grads, and with most members also being 33-50 years old, we can say with some certainty that the main targets are mature, working professionals rather than the Tinder-using generation. Sorry students.
Why it’s awesome: Rather than being thrown into an endless pool of profiles, EliteSingles lets you pick out exactly what you’re looking for. After you answer a detailed questionnaire based on the popular Five Factor Personality Test, professional-level algorithms will curate you a limited number of matches. They’ll even compare your own results to those of potential matches to see how you stack up. Like eharmony, the stuff you need to fill out is pretty lengthy – but that’s what you need to do if you’re looking for a lasting relationship, and this helps ensure that you aren’t swiping through tons of people who aren’t your type. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
What you need to know: 

  • One of Europe’s leading online matchmaking providers, it boasts 13 million singles in over 20 countries
  • You can filter people based on location, religion, ethnicity, age, and sexual orientation. You can even break it down by profession – if, for example, you are or were a teacher, you might only want to date someone who has also been a teacher. 
  • All profiles are verified manually with an upscale Fraud Detection System.
  • As you would expect from the fancy-sounding name, EliteSingles is expensive (but we say, worth it). Sign up here.

Massive user base • LGBTQ friendly • Tons of features for max satisfaction • Chemistry questionnaires are actually decent

Outdated and unattractive layout • Entire site looks like a virus-ridden porn ad • Best features get pricey

The Bottom Line

If you can get past the fact that it looks like an ad for a deserted strip club, you’ll get the satisfaction you were looking for and more

2. AdultFriendFinder

Live videos, group chats, and more monthly visitors than eharmony makes AFF that friend who just wants to help you out where it matters most.

  • Free Version:
    Yes
  • One Month:
    £20/month
  • Three Months:
    £13/month
  • One Year:
    £10/month
Who it’s for: Horny people.
Why it’s awesome: AdultFriendFinder is our pick for the best hookup site, and that’s because there is such a strong chance of getting exactly what you want. It’s like a Pornhub that you can actually interact with. Regardless of whether you’re looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more. Almost nothing is blurred out, but if you don’t mind that the entire thing looks like a sketchy “There are hot singles in your area” ad, you’ll be in heaven.
With over 25 million monthly users (that’s more than eharmony) as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra-specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there’s such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you’re very likely to find someone who’s on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn’t expect is the fact that they offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they’re that intent on finding you a good lay.
At this point is probably important to mention that 400 million AdultFriendFinder logins were leaked in 2016. There haven’t been any leaks since so here’s hoping that things have tightened up since.
Another bonus is that AdultFriendFinder never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have someone to talk to. You can even check out the “How to Date” playlist on its Youtube channel for tips on how to ace the dating game. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that’s always awake when you text them. 

Largest user base of all • Low-pressure

Pricey • Lots of noise and unwanted messages • Sifting through profiles takes work

The Bottom Line

Somewhere between Tinder and eHarmony lies Match, the Facebook of dating sites

3. Match.com

The original and largest, Match’s best feature is its enormous user base.

  • Free Version:
    Yes
  • One Month:
    £29.99/month
  • Three Months:
    £19.99/month
  • Six Months:
    £9.99/month
Who it’s for: Literally everyone.
Why it’s awesome: Before there were apps on which one could swipe right and left on a dizzying number of potential connections, there was Match. Yes, Match is the mother of all dating sites. Launched back in 1995, its decades in the business help it bring a ton of insight to the table for singles looking for all kinds of connections. And with its more recent push into mobile come a few new features that have helped make the site more relevant, including its very own version of Stories, popularised by Snapchat and, uh, adopted by everyone else. Match users can shoot short videos of their day or add voiceovers to photos and post them to their profiles for other users to check out. “Match is the family brand,” Spira says. “It’s the one someone could see their grandmother on, and someone could see their grandson on. It has the largest critical mass, and they have done a fabulous job of keeping up with the technology.”
What you need to know: 

  • It’s technically free to build a profile and browse for matches, but users who want to engage in direct messaging with their matches will have to upgrade to a paid membership, which costs £29.99/month, but is cheaper if you subscribe to more months. There’s also a free trial option.
  • Match users can browse on desktop and on mobile through its app.
  • Match.com run events across the UK, meaning you can meet other members face to face.
  • According to YouGov, Match.com scored highest for ‘Respectability’ amongst dating sites in the UK 
  • More than 25,000 new users join each day, apparently.
  • Spira says it “spans a lot of different relationship types,” from casual to serious.

Chat and forum options • Highly social • Free version

You need to pay to contact possible matches • Some groups are dormant

The Bottom Line

A gay community with a really social feel that encourages members to be active

4. GayFriendFinder

A site designed exclusively for Gay men that encourages social interaction.

  • Free version:
    Yes
  • One month:
    £27.06/month
  • Three months:
    £10.84/month
  • One year:
    £6.18/month
GayFriendFinder is a gay community where single men meet other men for chat, dating, and hook-ups. So pretty much anything you could want!
The site has great chat and forum features to help you get to know your potential connection. You’ll be encouraged to upload photos to make your profile more attractive but you are under no obligation to do so.
Joining is completely free but most communication as well as viewing full profiles requires paid membership, so if you want to find a match then you kind of need to stump up the cash.
After you’ve signed up, you can browse the many profiles that have a truly global feel. Even as a standard member you can create hot-lists and send ice-breakers to guys that take your fancy, but to initiate contact via email or chat you’ll need to upgrade.
Social interaction is greatly encouraged by GayFriendfinder, with polls, photo rankings, blogs, and an online magazine to get involved with. Finding active groups can be a bit tougher though as lots of them seem to be lying dormant.

High success rate speaks for itself • Quality matches – less noise

The Bottom Line

If you’re laser-focused on matrimony, this could be the fastest way to get there

5. eharmony

eharmony is the premier site for straight people who want to get married.

  • One month:
    £44.95/month
  • Three months:
    £21.95/month
  • Six months:
    £18.95/month
  • One year:
    £9.95/month
Who it’s for: Straight people who really want to get married.
Why it’s awesome: Founded in 2000 by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, eharmony is the site for serious daters. Although originally a US site, in 2007 eharmony partnered with Oxford University to carry out research on UK couples to identify the key differences in compatibility characteristics between the UK and US. The findings of the research were used to create a new version of their algorithm specifically for British singles and the launch of eharmony.co.uk in 2008. Today eharmony boasts over 4 Million UK members. 
Users answer a lengthy questionnaire that helps eharmony determine what it calls “a select group of compatible matches with whom you can build a quality relationship.” Spira says she’s always seen eharmony as a “matrimonial dating site.” “That doesn’t mean you’re going to walk down the aisle, but it certainly means that you’re looking for a very serious relationship that may or may not lead to marriage. It may lead to living together or at least being in an exclusive, committed relationship.”
What you need to know:

  • While it’s free to make an account, answer questions, and see your matches, you’ll need to select a paid membership to make contact. Prices start at £9.95 per month with a 12 month commitment (use promo code PROMOLOVEEH
  • It’s available on both desktop and through its app.
  • It’s not recommended for users looking to date casually. “eharmony will not cater to somebody who’s looking for a casual relationship or hookup – you will never see that on eharmony,” Spira says.

Easy to meet someone like-minded • UK-centric • LGBTQ-friendly

Expensive • Fewer members than sites like Match

The Bottom Line

80% of Guardian Soulmates members are also Guardian readers, so if you fall into that category, the site makes it easy to find someone who shares similar values

6. Guardian Soulmates

80% of Guardian Soulmates members are also Guardian readers, so if you fall into that category, the site makes it easy to find someone who shares similar values.

  • One month:
    £32.00/month
  • Three months:
    £21.33/month
  • Six months:
    £16.00/month
Who it’s for: Guardian readers, of course.
Why it’s awesome:  If you believe the Guardians’ own reader profiles, this dating app should be full of ‘wealthy foodies who like to travel and invest’. Sounds pretty attractive to us. Guardian Soulmates might consist of a smaller pool than dating sites like Match or apps like Tinder, but if there’s any truth in the profiles, the matches you make should be interesting.
Guardian Soulmates also includes a cool feature called “Find a soulmate” that uses criteria that you select in the ‘who you’re looking for’ page to give you a list of potential ‘soulmates’. For each individual criteria, you can set how important these aspects are to you, and if they are important to other site members, you will be matched up.
 What you need to know:

  • Search for matches using the ‘Find a soulmate’ function.
  • Let the site show you matches based on both your preferences and how you well you fit the preferences of other users.
  • An iOS app is also available, in addition to mobile and desktop versions.

Queer-friendly and inclusive • Lots of users • The questionnaire isn’t tedious

The best features aren’t free

The Bottom Line

If a fun and light-hearted experience is what you are looking for, OkCupid is your best bet

7. OkCupid

OkCupid is the dating site for folks who lean toward the younger and/or more “woke” side of things.

  • Price:
    Free, with upgrades available
Who it’s for: Chilled out daters.
Why it’s awesome: On OkCupid, users can offer a ton of information about themselves through the site’s Match Questions. Examples include: “Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?” or “Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?” The answers to these questions help OkCupid determine which members might be a good match for one another. Of note: Per OkCupid’s own stats, liberal women in particular have luck on the site. And in 2017, the site offered users the chance to answer 50 “current events” questions that illuminate users’ politics.”OkCupid has been a favourite of mine for years,” Spira says. “I always liked OkCupid because they have a great critical mass, and the thought-provoking questions really allow you to think how you feel about some of these issues – whether it’s politics or gun control – and how you feel about your date’s answers. People spend a lot of time on the site just perusing the questions that other people answer, and I like that.”
What you need to know:

  • OkCupid is free for the most part, but does offer some paid upgrades for features like increased search abilities, a “free automatic boost per day during prime time,” or even the option to browse privately in “Incognito Mode.”
  • It’s available on both desktop and mobile.
  • OkCupid state they have 2.3 million site visits from the UK and over 1.4 million UK members
  • Basic and Premium subscriptions are available

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Tinder will let you list your sexual orientation in your profile

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With the arrival of Pride month, dating app Tinder is making moves to be more welcoming to LGBT users for the event and beyond. In collaboration with GLAAD, the company has announced it will now let users list their sexual orientation in their profile.

Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps but does not have the best reputation among LGBT folks. Although users can filter who they want to match with, they don’t always work well. The inability for lesbian women to completely block men from matching with them, for example, has been a source of frustration.

With the new update, Tinder users can list their sexual orientation, which will determine who they match with. They can select up to three terms to describe their orientation.

Sexual Orientation on Tinder,

“We want all of our users to feel empowered expressing who they are while connecting with new people — and we’re always working to make that easier for our users on Tinder,” said Elie Seidman, CEO of Tinder. “Dating apps are invaluable platforms for connecting the LGBTQ+ community, and we’re beyond proud to continue our efforts, in partnership with GLAAD, to improve the community’s experience on Tinder.”

The update will be rolled out to the iOS and Android app for users in the US, UK, Canada, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand this month.

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Grindr's owner gave staff access to sensitive user data

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When the US pushed Grindr’s owner to sell the app over national security concerns, it made only vague allusions to what might have prompted the decision. Now, however, the situation is clearer. Reuters sources have claimed that Beijing Kunlun triggered alarms after it gave engineers in Beijing access to Grindr’s database for several months. While there wasn’t evidence that the company misused the data, the tipsters believe the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS) was worried that the Chinese government could comb the database to find info on US intelligence and military personnel.

CFIUS ordered Beijing Kunlun to restrict access to the database in September, according to the insiders. The Grindr team complied and functionally separated Grindr, but by February its parent company had decided to close the Beijing office entirely over policy and privacy concerns. The effort was for nothing, though, as CFIUS reportedly asked Beijing Kunlun to sell off Grindr in March.

As for skipping the review process? The sources said that CFIUS reviews for submission were strictly optional, and Beijing Kunlun didn’t think the deal would pose a national security risk at the time.

The parent company hasn’t commented on the report so far, but a spokeswoman for Grind said that data privacy and security “is and always will be a top priority.”

The explanation still leaves Grindr with an uncertain fate, but it does shed light on just why the US was nervous. It also reflects the US government’s increasingly strict approach to Chinese companies — it doesn’t want even the slightest risk of China’s having access to private information.

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